This past week has been somewhat of a roller coaster ride for me emotionally. One minute all is fun and fine and the next I am a nervous wreck. Yesterday we were at my dad's house visiting for a bbq lunch when randomly for no reason I just had to be home and because we could leave the second I started to feel an anxiety attack coming on. It was a very quiet hour long drive home.
Once we got home my husband was being unusually patient with me and my mood slowly changed to being more relaxed. However I then found myself munching on cheese and crackers. When they were done it was popcorn. When that was done it was chocolate. Finally I went to bed because I felt I was trying to eat because I was nervous and not because I was actually hungry.
This morning I feel like I cant even eat. It's almost like the reverse of nervous eating... now I am too nervous to eat. Tomorrow is the first day of school. The first day of my family's new routine. I feel bad that dinner will not be on the table for them when they get home. I feel bad that my kids will have longer school days because they will need before and after school care. I wonder if I made the right choice.
I guess deep down I know it's the right choice for me and my family in the long run, but today it just feels so scary.
I know exactly how you feel!! I went through the same jitters 3 years ago when I first decided to go back to school. I really thought it was going to be so hard - but it was really much easier than I thought. This year is the hardest, because I'm doing a year-long internship that has me working 4 days a week, and going to school 1 day a week. I know it may seem hard to adjust, but you'll get there in no time. This is a wonderful thing that you're doing - keep reminding yourself that. :)
ReplyDeleteYep, I've being living with panic/anxiety for 25+ years now. That's why I ate my way into oblivion. Not sure how long it's been happening to you, but if you ever want to discuss it one to one, please drop me a line at unknowndieter@gmail.com
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